No More LOLs

The Internet is fragile. We have seen governments trying to shut down the Internet as thousands rallied for democracy in the Middle East. We witnessed rioters use the Internet to coordinate attacks on the innocent. Denial of Service attacks has been used recently to shut down access to critical government resources in many countries. False information and phishing attacks have been rampant, taking advantage of subjects' emotions related to pandemics, vaccines, stimulus programs, and elections.

However, all these events pale in comparison to the most severe threat on the Internet. LOLs. LOLs or "Laugh Out Louds, or Laughing Out Loud" has the potential to destroy the entire Internet. Why?

The answer is very complicated, but it boils down to an easy to explain simple truth. When people "LOL" each other, they usually are never laughing out loud. Simply put, they never even laugh. Sometimes, LOLs may indicate a smile, smirk, or a laugh on the inside (LOIs – laughing on the inside) if we are lucky.

The Division of the Internet Center of Kinetics (DICK) conducted a long and thorough study that lasted a little less than a day. Their conclusion was shocking: 87% of people who use LOLs fail to actually laugh out loud.

The study makes it impossible to guess what the remaining percentages of people actually laugh out loud. Skeptics may argue about the study's authenticity. Still, clearly, 3-D pie charts show the mass amounts of research conducted on this issue.

The chart below leaves no doubt behind on to what this means for the future of the Internet.

The future of the Internet is doomed. Citizens of the Internet must stop using LOLs. Failure to comply with the process will result in a cataclysmic system crash killing everyone connected to the matrix World of Warcraft, which coupled with the extermination of the McDonald's McRib sandwich (they told you it was only for a limited time) will ultimately result in the extinction of the entire human race porn collection.